on the empty feeling at the end of the busy day
it's 2 in the morning and i can't sleep. i think about past day and i feel 0 satisfaction. it's not that nothing was done - the day was busy and i was constantly doing something, but it's all a blur at the end of the day with no highlights.
coffee while checking calendar for the day, walk the dog, slack, watch yt video while eating a sandwich, jump into the call, do some work, how is it already 6?? slight panic, only half of the planned tasks for the day completed, time to shop for groceries and make dinner. cook, eat, watch a series, evening walk, it's 9 now. too tired to make good decisions, 4 hours of yt later i go to bed.
it's a contrived example, but i feel it matches ~80% of my life. funny enough when i'm motivated and i'm grinding my current favourite pet project or hobby, time flies by even faster! i don't feel empty on those days thankfully, but unless i created something physical or captured result of my efforts - i still have nothing to show for it.
sometimes i wish i could rewatch old days in fast-forward. not because i'm feeling nostalgic, just to remind myself they existed.